What Is Family? - The Difference Between Family & Family Relatives

What Is Family To You?

What should a family be and what should they do? 

What are relatives and where do they fit into your life?

Everyone has a different perception of family, it's one of those things that don't have one common answer. When is it fair to say enough is enough? Where do we cross the line between who we class and family and who are just relatives?

If you've been hurt in the past by the people closest to you. Then you'll understand the desire to push negative people out of your life, whoever they might be. So many of us tolerate negative people because we feel we have too. Which is why highlighting the difference between family and relatives came to mind.

The origin of the word family 

A group consisting of 2 parents and their children living together as unit.

Albeit vague living with your parent(s), brothers and sisters being related by blood or marriage.

Definition of the word relative

A person related by blood or marriage

I took some time to find out about what real people thought the definition of family was, this should make you giggle 

THE URBAN DEFINITION OF FAMILY

A bunch of people who hate each other and eat dinner together

A word used to force you to do things you don't want to do

The close relationships among a body of human beings through blood. Usually are annoying and invasive around the holidays.

An excuse to get out of work

A family is the people you consider closest to you. Relatives are related to you but you do not necessarily have to know them personally, or be close with them.  

I have 'relatives'. I have never met they are cousins and I would not know them if I passed them on the street. We grew up 3000 miles away from one another.  I do not include them when I speak of my family.

For urban definitions click here 

In the 15th century, even slaves were considered family. Highlighting the idea that family may not be blood-related but it is a very important thing to have.

I consider REAL family to be people who you trust, love and truly care about. They are people who 'may' not be compassionate or caring in nature but actually care about your feelings; your future, and your well-being. They are not necessarily of the same blood, but might as well be. Real family are not afraid to tell the truth and they make it their duty to make sure everyone in their family is helping each other to help themselves.

Family don't kick you when your down and certainly shouldn't be the reason for it. Although family are not perfect, family is not defined by genes, a family is built and maintained through unconditional love. Family support you and raise you up even though they might be annoying sometimes, if they're loyal to you and mean well, annoyances wouldn't bother you in the long run. Listen to what your emotions are telling you if they are, there should be no repetitive cycles of the same thing. You wouldn't allow people into your life that don't add value to it so why should you keep the offenders that are already there.

Family support you mentally, physically & spiritually, they wish to see you grow. If those things are absent, those people are just relatives. They are simply related to you. To them they don't owe you anymore or any less then that alone.

This can be a painful process especially if you don't feel that way about your relatives, you don't want to feel like your making a fuss or excluding yourself. But remember the golden rule to loving yourself is that you must always put yourself first and you should 

decide how much of something you can tolerate before it disrupts your inner peace...

We all have different ideals. Although I believe their should be some core principles to look out for as with everything in life, I try to simplify what seems to become so complicated over time.

AT MINIMUM FAMILY SHOULD

Truly Care About One Another

Not just saying it, convincing someone of it or just doing it when you feel like it

Trust One Another

I have to be able to trust you to call you family, if I think your going to take my business out of the circle or you already know someone that is. I'm not going to tell you anything

Support You In Times Of Need

Your family may not always be there when the going gets tough, but they should be there when they know you have hit rock bottom. They certainly should never be the source of it.

Know Each Other Well

Its pointless me calling you family if we don't really know each other or more so you don't know me. You can't tell when I'm ill, depressed or sad ultimately because you don't really care and it's not doesn't bother you.

Respect 

Respect goes very far especially when dealing with people who are different to you or have different views on life. You don't need to have the same approach to everything, if you respect each other it goes a long way. It's hard to care for or support someone who doesn't respect any of your wishes.

RELATIVES ARE PEOPLE THAT..

Care about you enough to feed you and put a roof over your head
Relatives don't mind giving you the basic necessities temporarily

Relatives don't really care about your views, opinions or what your doing in life

Relatives don't mind you doing anything as long as it doesn't effect them

Relatives do not look out for you or your best interests

Relatives don't care for your achievements and may even try to hinder them

Relatives don't really have to like you, they just do what is necessary to keep there bloodline alive

Some relatives think you owe them for things that they do and hold it against you

Relatives are happy to lie and decieve you to get their own way

Relatives can be jealous, bitter, untrustworthy and spiteful

Relatives are basically kind strangers, they don't want to look bad. But they don't intend to give you any more or any less of what they would do out of good will for a stranger or an acquaintance.

So that's my opinion from life experiences on family. Family are not to be confused with your relatives. Don't go round sharing your achievements with relatives that you should be celebrating with family. Don't share your business with relatives who may use information about you to plot against you, don't do anything with relatives you wouldn't do with strangers because essentially they are strangers that you know or share the same blood with.

(IMPORTANT NOTE: Close friends that you consider family also fall into this bracket too! RELATIVES AND FAMILY DO NOT HAVE TO BE BLOOD RELATED)

I really hope this brings new perspective to those people who sometimes feel like the odd one out, or just in a family who don't treat each other well. Don't cut them out completely unless it's to ensure your own safety or a well being. There's no straightforward rule, just don't give anymore then your getting from them. They are a blood related acquaintance. Treat them accordingly.

P.S. Regardless though if you attack my family or innocent loved ones I'm coming for your neck :)

Thanks for Reading